I am a BLACK WOMAN. I am strong. I am Resilient. I am Beautiful. Although it took me over 15 years, I finally love the skin I’m in. Nothing is wrong with me or my complexion, the world is just broken.

In this society I have TWO odds against me: I’m a WOMAN and I’m BLACK. Two categories of people who til this day in the year 2020 are oppressed in some way. Whether it be the government telling us what we can do with our bodies, not being allowed to wear your hair the way God intended it to be because it looks “unkept or unprofessional,” or dealing with the fear of losing a loved one for being black. Those don’t even touch the surface of what black women go through each day. As a black woman, the narrative of the superhuman black woman who feels no pain and does twice as much is killing us. It is time to break the cycle.

This week has been exhausting to say the least. I had to navigate what’s happening to POC in America, the protests, the ongoing questions from non-POC explaining racism, and revisiting my own experiences with racism in my head daily because I am being flooded with similar stories on my timeline that I can relate to, that’s TRAUMA!

I have so many emotions : Anger, sadness, joy and confusion. I am angry because I don’t understand how a group of people can believe they are better than anyone else because they are of a different race and I’m angry, because I can’t believe after years of people before me fighting for our freedom, nothing has change really. Some laws, maybe, sure! But I can’t say anything stuck. Laws changed in the 60’s, but minds/beliefs haven’t and unfortunately those people are still alive raising more racists. I’m sad because my people are dying and unless it’s recorded on video, no one cares or takes responsibility. I feel joy because FINALLY our voices seem to be reaching ears across the world. At the same time, I feel confused, because we have been crying out for YEARS. Why the sudden change in support? Why are people suddenly tuned in?

I am a BLACK WOMAN and I have to go through ALL of this while still putting a smile on my face each day. That STRONG BLACK WOMAN mentality is killing me. All I want to do is scream.